Who says menopause isn’t sexy? I mean sure, you lose control of your body with unwanted hot flashes and often need to towel off, and so what if you’re bitchy because you’re tired because you can’t sleep, but who says you’re not still sexy? I know your mama told you when you were a teenager that if you can’t be yourself around a guy then he’s not the guy for you.
Same thing now. If a guy you’re dating is turned off by your sudden hot flash, and HE can’t take the heat, then it’s time to move on. But, if you make a joke about the heat, or suddenly grab an ice cube out of your glass and rub it on your face, neck and cleavage, and he doesn’t run away, you might have a keeper.
If you can’t quite bring yourself to joke about it, you can go to the ladies room and wait it out. Some women keep a battery operated fan in their purse to help out with unwanted hot flashes and it really does work. Just go to the bathroom, take out the fan, and keep it on your face until you feel like you can return to the table. If it’s a cold night, go outside for a moment.
Regardless of how you choose to handle it, you can date during menopause. If you’re choosing decent men they can deal with it. It can be a weeding process to find that man, but women the world over do it, and you can too. Don’t forget that most men your age know that women go through menopause and most men are not intimidated by it, nor are they bothered by it. Men go through their own issues at this age too, so you are not alone.
“I feel more comfortable in my body, imperfections and all.”
“I know now, what I didn’t know then.”
“The kids are out of the nest and I have a lot of time to do what I want to do!”
“Grandchildren!”
“Sex without pregnancy worries!”
“Knowing myself better and knowing exactly what I want out of life.”
“I finally trust my own judgment.”
These are all very common refrains about being middle aged. Women the world over find that their midlife is fulfilling, exciting, and full of adventure. Most women, whether with a partner or not, report being happier in midlife than when they were younger, that is, after they pass through a rough spot called “midlife crises”.
Statistics show that humans’, regardless of socioeconomic status, “happiness quotient”, tends to be U shaped, being highest in the teenage years, and then going down until midlife, then it goes back up into old age until death. There is a slight bump for richer people, but the shape is still a U and still increases once the midlife crises time has passed.
Even for people who choose to have children later in life, the U shape remains the same. If you happen to be one who has not passed through the roughest part of your midlife yet, take heart, things do get better! As long as you’re on the right path that feels authentic to you, you’re going to be just fine. And if you’re not on your authentic path, at least you’re aware of it and can start to make changes if needed.
A common nightmare is that I am incapacitated in some way and no one plucks that one chin hair that seemingly grows two inches long over night. After years of waxing I no longer need to worry about my eyebrows, they’re almost gone, but now they’re growing on my chin.
“I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.” -Janette Barber-
The “stray eyebrows” aren’t the only problem. The other issues frighten me while I’m awake though, not just in sleep. For instance, when I wave bye to someone, what the hell is under my arm. It’s like I have an extra hand waving long after I’m done waving with my actual hand. Sometimes it feels like that extra flap of skin is going to knock me down just from the shock I get when I see it flapping around in my peripheral vision.
Speaking of vision, why didn’t God make my arms longer? I have to stand at the other end of the isle at the grocery store to read the labels and forget reading medication labels, I just have to swallow the pills and hope for the best. It’s interesting to see better far away than close up after years of being nearsighted. I know that my husband is also farsighted now, he swears that I have no gray hair and no wrinkles.God love him.
I remember during pregnancy how funny it was that my breasts sat on top of my stomach like they were on a shelf… I had no idea that someday my stomach and my breast would need a shelf in order not to slide down to my knees. I thought it was downright hilarious that I could put a piece of paper between my breasts and my stomach and it would stick there, and I could read it. Now I can put an entire book there, but I can’t read it, thankfully I’m too looped out to care what with the inaccurate dosages of doctor prescribed medications.
When I was younger, we couldn’t wait to put the kids to bed so we could have sex. Now I just can’t wait to go to sleep, usually on the couch. The kids? Well, they can’t wait till we get off the couch so they can have sex. So I guess I have more issues than chin hairs, but I think I’ll just worry about it tomorrow.
