“I feel more comfortable in my body, imperfections and all.”

“I know now, what I didn’t know then.”

“The kids are out of the nest and I have a lot of time to do what I want to do!”

“Grandchildren!”

“Sex without pregnancy worries!”

“Knowing myself better and knowing exactly what I want out of life.”

“I finally trust my own judgment.”

These are all very common refrains about being middle aged. Women the world over find that their midlife is fulfilling, exciting, and full of adventure. Most women, whether with a partner or not, report being happier in midlife than when they were younger, that is, after they pass through a rough spot called “midlife crises”.

Statistics show that humans’, regardless of socioeconomic status, “happiness quotient”, tends to be U shaped, being highest in the teenage years, and then going down until midlife, then it goes back up into old age until death. There is a slight bump for richer people, but the shape is still a U and still increases once the midlife crises time has passed.

Even for people who choose to have children later in life, the U shape remains the same. If you happen to be one who has not passed through the roughest part of your midlife yet, take heart, things do get better!  As long as you’re on the right path that feels authentic to you, you’re going to be just fine. And if you’re not on your authentic path, at least you’re aware of it and can start to make changes if needed.

A common nightmare is that I am incapacitated in some way and no one plucks that one chin hair that seemingly grows two inches long over night. After years of waxing I no longer need to worry about my eyebrows, they’re almost gone, but now they’re growing on my chin.

“I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.” -Janette Barber-

The “stray eyebrows” aren’t the only problem. The other issues frighten me while I’m awake though, not just in sleep.  For instance, when I wave bye to someone, what the hell is under my arm. It’s like I have an extra hand waving long after I’m done waving with my actual hand. Sometimes it feels like that extra flap of skin is going to knock me down just from the shock I get when I see it flapping around in my peripheral vision.

Speaking of vision, why didn’t God make my arms longer? I have to stand at the other end of the isle at the grocery store to read the labels and forget reading medication labels, I just have to swallow the pills and hope for the best.  It’s interesting to see better far away than close up after years of being nearsighted. I know that my husband is also farsighted now, he swears that I have no gray hair and no wrinkles.God love him.

I remember during pregnancy how funny it was that my breasts sat on top of my stomach like they were on a shelf… I had no idea that someday my stomach and my breast would need a shelf in order not to slide down to my knees. I thought it was downright hilarious that I could put a piece of paper between my breasts and my stomach and it would stick there, and I could read it. Now I can put an entire book there, but I can’t read it, thankfully I’m too looped out to care what with the inaccurate dosages of doctor prescribed medications.

When I was younger,  we couldn’t wait to put the kids to bed so we could have sex. Now I just can’t wait to go to sleep, usually on the couch. The kids? Well, they can’t wait till we get off the couch so they can have sex. So I guess I have more issues than chin hairs, but I think I’ll just worry about it tomorrow.

New York bestselling author Nancy Thayer’s “Hot Flash Series” is a must read for all women of a certain age, if not for the younger set too. Nancy creates characters which treat menopause as a normal life stage rather than something that is seen as an awful situation. The characters are engaging and funny, even if the writing isn’t the best, the point of novels like these is to entertain, and entertain she does.

Essentially this series is about four middle aged women, Faye –  the creative one; Marilyn — the smart one; Shirley — a health nut; and Alice — the business woman; which kind of makes you think of, “Sex in the City” but all the characters in this series are realistically experiencing the ups and downs of menopause, aging and life. The characters are relatable to real women even if the jacket cover of the book isn’t so realistic.

The women are great friends, supportive, and the positive light shone on middle aged women is something very much needed today. The women are your neighbors, your coworkers, your old high school friends, going through life experiences which are realistic and relatable.  You’ll be drawn into the lives of the characters, laugh out loud, and feel great after an afternoon reading any of the books from the “Hot Flash Series”.

The books in order are:

1. The Hot Flash Club
2. The Hot Flash Club Strikes Again
3. Hot Flash Holidays
4. The Hot Flash Club Chills Out

Start from the beginning, and spend an afternoon  (it’s chick lit not Maya Angelo) with each and they’ll carry you into summer with a smile on your face and a bounce in your step.

Kathryn Petras wrote a book that was published in 1999 that has helped countless women who are going through early menopause whether surgical or some other reason. It’s easy to say that menopause is part of aging and not an illness until it happens for some other reason or due to an illness. Saying that it’s a strange of life, we all must travel, is not helpful to the people who Kathryn writes for in this book.

While many new treatments and issues have come to the forefront since this book was published it is still a good read with a lot of emotionally helpful information and advice. It’s very simple to read, does not talk over your head, and offers useful information over stats.

The author herself suffers from Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) so she speaks from the heart and the book feels like a labor of love that is personal in nature yet the book is also very well written and professional since it does not only address issues of POF, but other reasons why one might have premature menopause.

The book covers natural supplements as well as hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and covers the emotional components of reaching this stage of life earlier than one had thought it would happen.  She gives you the information you need, and honestly, even if you’re not having early menopause the book is still good to read and offers a lot of information that will be very helpful to any menopausal woman.

User’s Guide to Easing Menopause Symptoms Naturally: Learn How to Prevent Hot Flashes and Other Symtoms Safely and Naturally — by Cynthia M. Watson M.D.

Like the title suggests this book gives a very thorough over view of various ways to prevent symptoms naturally by using herbal remedies instead of conventional manufactured drugs to treat symptoms. While there is controversy surrounding both approaches, Dr. Watson explains everything so that anyone can understand without too many technical words although she also explains the technical terms as well in a very readable fashion. You won’t be bored, and you’ll learn a lot of good information.

Menopause Can Be Fun — by Allene G. Hatch

If you like humor you’ll love this book. After all, if we can’t see the humor in ourselves, then what’s the point. This book will help you see the humor in this life change and the cute illustrations will make you laugh too, and yes, it even addresses male menopause, yes they do have it too. (But I know we women already knew that)

Happy Vaginas for the Over 40s: How to resuscitate your ageing asset and protect her from menopausal meltdown!
– by Claire Preston, Illustrated by Vernon Knight

This book will make you laugh, cry and learn.  You’ll learn more about your vagina than you ever learned from your mother, your sex education class, or your best friend.  It’ll cover keeping your vagina healthy through menopause and also issues with VD. It’s really a must read book for all women to, well, help keep their vagina happy.

We have a lot to be thankful for and certainly don’t hold a candle to the women who have come before us suffering through menopause. So shout a loud thank you today for living during a time when we have lots of options for the best time of our life!

And here’s a little chuckle for you if you are preparing to shop til you drop for the holidays — plus a word of advice. If you are highly menopausal, don’t drive. Enjoy!

There was a time that age was respected due to the fact that some lessons are only learned from time.

But, more and more, there is a growing disrespect for age. If you’ve ever been laid off and you’re older than 50 you know what I mean.

They don’t say they’re not hiring you because they detected some gray hair or your graduation from college was, well, awhile ago, but you can tell. That twenty something manager is afraid to hire you because you remind her of her mother. It’s clear.

The fact that you don’t think they didn’t hire you because you can’t do the job shows how much wiser you are than when you were twenty something. You know you can do the job. You know, you’re more reliable — after all you’ve gone through menopause and won’t be taking time off to care for sick babies, or to have a baby. You’re a great catch as an employee for all these reasons, you know that, but they don’t.

As you get older you become less and less concerned with what others think, and more comfortable with your own opinion and beliefs. It makes you laugh when they ask you if you get the senior discount (I hate being called a senior — seniors are MY parents!), the gray hairs coming in start looking good to you, and you realize that the clothing you wore years ago is back in style. Don’t you wish you’d saved all those old clothes?

The best thing about being older, and wiser, is that you realize that even if times are tough today, they will get better. You completely understand the idea of “this too shall pass.”

Do you feel wiser as you’ve gotten older? I do. What do you feel wiser about? Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

Hope you have a fabulous Halloween dealing with all the ghouls and goblins. Going through the menopause transition can sometimes make you feel like you are one of those — a ghoul or goblin that is. And if you’re having a hard time explaining why you are “the way you are” to your family or friends, have them take a look at this video. It’s short, sweet and humorous all rolled into one.

A common nightmare is that I am incapacitated in some way and no one plucks that one chin hair that seemingly grows two inches long over night. (Remember the first time you saw an old lady with a chin hair? That old lady is you.)

After years of plucking (ouch!) I no longer need to worry about my eyebrows, they’re almost gone, but now they’re growing on my chin.

“I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.”  Janette Barber 

The “stray eyebrows” aren’t the only problem. Other issues frighten me while I’m awake though, not just in sleep.  For instance, when I wave bye to someone, what the hell is under my arm??? It’s like I have an extra hand waving long after I’m done waving with my actual hand. Sometimes it feels like that extra flap of skin is going to knock me down just from the shock I get when I see it flapping around in my peripheral vision.

Speaking of vision, why didn’t God make my arms longer? I have to stand at the other end of the isle at the grocery store to read the labels and forget reading medication labels, I just have to swallow the pills and hope for the best.  It’s interesting to see better far away than close up after years of being nearsighted. I know that my husband is also farsighted now, he swears that I have no gray hair and no wrinkles. God love him.

I remember when my sister was pregnant and we laughed about how funny it was that her boobs sat on top of her stomach like they were on a shelf… I had no idea that someday my stomach and my boobs would need a shelf in order not to slide down to my knees.

So I guess I have more issues than chin hairs, but I think I’ll just worry about it tomorrow. Pluck! Pluck!

If you need a break to laugh at what you are going through with all this menopause stuff, this video is the ticket. I laugh every time I watch it. Enjoy!

Leave a comment with your thoughts!